she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
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