I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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