Apparently you make a good broom.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
I think people are normalizing furries
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
Randomize
