Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
Randomize
