Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize
