every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Randomize
