Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
