East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
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