So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Randomize
