Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
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