What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
Randomize
