He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Randomize
