When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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