Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
