Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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