Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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