There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
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