I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
Randomize
