you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Randomize
