I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
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