I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
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