This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize
