dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
Randomize
