You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
