Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
