and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Randomize
