Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Randomize
