needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Randomize
