Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
I just made a cocktail. Had one shot of vodka left. It looked lonely so I decided to reunite it with its vodka friends in my bloodstream.
Starting the day at 1:44 in the afternoon. With a hot pocket and a mixer. Who knew my life had this kind of possibility.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
