$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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