What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Randomize
