Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
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