does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
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