Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
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