oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Randomize