the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
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