2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
Randomize
