the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
Randomize