The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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