its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
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