Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Randomize
