Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
Randomize