She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
Randomize
