pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Randomize
