i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
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