Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Randomize
