so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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