In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
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