i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
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