I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
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