The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
Randomize
