I'm gonna have a badass scar
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
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