Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
Randomize
