I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
i wish my penis had a tongue
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
Randomize