I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
