yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
Randomize
