roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Randomize
