i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
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