Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
