This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
Randomize