It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
You smell like a Billy Joel song
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
Randomize
