I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
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