His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
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